Enter the Mash-Up Arena! Wrestling superstars from every point on the timeline do battle for historical supremacy! How do today’s TNA superstars stack up against the Legends of yesteryear? Tune in to Mash-Up Wrestling to find out!
DYNAMITE KID (1984) vs LOW-KI (2006)
** X-Division Bout **
The fascination with primordial combat is as old as mankind itself. Every ancient Hieroglyph, Gurz or catch-wrestling hold has lead to this point. The pinnacle of evolution. This is Mash-Up Wrestling for all styles with the perfect combination to pull them off. It’s about history, and how knowing the past can help predict the future. Tonight is about innovation. From reinventing Junior Heavyweight perceptions, to cruiserweight classics. Tonight, we bear witness to the clash of two epic timeline warriors on the only stage *big* enough to house them – the X-Division Platform. TNA’s X-Division is one of the sports most cherished innovations, and a landmark of their history. The “X-Games” of pro wrestling has helped ease the acceptance of athletes not molded in heavyweight form. Never before has “size” – once seen as the definitive *be-all/end-all* of pro wrestling success – been so minimized. Here on the X-Division stage, it’s not about weight limits – it’s about no limits. Nobody in the Mash-Up Wrestling universe knows more about this adage, or the threshold of these innovations, as our two opponents tonight. 2x Former X-Division champion Low-Ki (2006) vs. Dynamite Kid (1984)!! Stiff? Ground-breaking? Trendsetters? Complete dicks in real life? Check, check, check and chiggedy-check yo’self. Best in the world in their respective weight class? Absolutely. Kick-starting our trend tonight of looking towards the past to see the future, we view this epic clash in our crystal ball. Enter the Mash-Up Arena!!
INTRODUCING the OPPONENTS:
For those who may not remember, Low-Ki had an underground buzz within pro-wrestling that had purists believing they were witnessing a changing of the game. In ROH, and alongside peers like Bryan Danielson and later Samoa Joe, Low-Ki helped reinvent the game with stiff martial arts kicks, MMA-striking and a fighting-spirit that was undeniably “real”. Kofi Kingston once said of Low-Ki, “He’s the closest thing we have in real life to a Ninja.” There wasn’t a time in fantasy-wrestling drafts that Low-Ki didn’t go Top 5 every time. Former ROH champion. 2x X-Division champion. IWGP Jr Heavyweight champion. The accolades are earned, and well-deserved. Yet, there’s no doubting size has always been an underlying issue; the perpetual “chip on the shoulder” that drove Low-Ki to heights unattainable by men a foot taller and 100 lbs heavier. His stark realism and stone-faced stoicism is both a boon and a hindrance to his career, with some mumbling Low-Ki takes himself *too* seriously.
Trapped in that same quagmire of “Napolean Complex”, comes perhaps our most infamous example of the condition – Tom Billington aka “Dynamite Kid”. He originated that “game-changing buzz” with his early work in Stampede & Japan. Unfortunately, the Kid didn’t come of age in the X-Division era. Instead he gorged himself on a steady diet of steroids and bulk enhancements until his Junior Heavyweight frame was grotesque and swollen. But before that physical transformation, Dynamite Kid was busy inventing the same game Low-Ki would go on to master 20-years later. Dynamite Kid is a credited WWF Junior Heavyweight champion and rewrote the rules on what could happen in a pro wrestling ring when he collided with Tiger Mask (a series of matches that could be considered an “X-Division blueprint”). Now, with the magic of Mash-Up Wrestling, we finally get to see what would happen when two of the greatest Junior Heavyweights in wrestling history collide on the X-Division stage in their primes!
Instant X-Division classic, but on a different plateau. Full tale of the tape and MMA-styled walkouts w/ Michael Buffer-like intros by Jeremy Borash. Fans seemingly split 50/50. Low-Ki & Dynamite Kid absolutely stiff the shit out of each other, leaving the crowd gasping with every exchange. Fans light up the airwaves with dueling chants & raw enthusiasm, for this contest is a work of art even a layman could appreciate. “THIS IS AWESOME!” and “TNA!” chants abound. Imagine taking the most exciting 15-second breakbeat from your favorite MMA fight, and looping it to produce a full-length BANGER. Legit KO’s are almost palpable (see Low-Ki vs Sami Callihan).
Back and forth they go, counter-for-counter & hold for hold. Low-Ki with a double-hook suplex into a bridge, but Dynamite Kid retaliates with a fishermans suplex of his own. Both men trade pinfall attempts, submissions, chops and dropkicks. Low-Ki clotheslines Dynamite Kid in the turnbuckle, but Dynamite Kid responds with a huge atomic drop. Full nelson into a german suplex from Dynamite that results in another two count. Low-Ki with some strikes of his own, and a super-plex attempt. Dynamite Kid crotches him on the top rope, and *SLAPS* Low-Ki across the face! Superplex of his own, followed by the patented diving head butt! STILL only 2! Dynamite Kid wants the finish but eats a spin kick to the face, followed by a huge power bomb into the buckles! Spinning DDT from Low-Ki almost seals the deal, but once again Dynamite Kid perseveres!
In the end, Dynamite Kid weathers an incredible storm, to finally earn the pinfall after a rolling German suplex left BOTH men’s shoulders down – but Kid was able to get one up at 2.5. Absolutely incredible bout with fans chanting “MATCH of the YEAR”! Fans also chant Low-Ki’s name but he appears angry and inconsolable nonetheless. Meanwhile, Dynamite Kid soaks up the thrill of his biggest Mash-Up Wrestling victory to date! Both men look exhausted, physically & emotionally. Dynamite Kid (with the fans encouragement) is even willing to offer the “handshake of mutual respect”, but Low-Ki angrily DECLINES and storms away backstage.
Winner: DYNAMITE KID
AFTER the BELL
I don’t know what was more painful to see – Dynamite Kid literally hobbled, and being carried with a broken back on Davey Boys shoulders? Or Low-Ki (excuse me, “Kaval”) smiling and wearing pink “Property of LayCool” apparel on WWE NXT? Both final images are bittersweet ones to swallow, both for the diehard fanatics and for the men who lived them. By all reports, Dynamite Kid is a crippled, bitter recluse who practically forced his own family to flee at gun point. Let the internet critics tell you, and Low-Ki isn’t far behind in public sentiment. He is reported to have retired from pro wrestling in 2013 over medical disputes relating to an in-ring injury. So while neither man will remain high the Christmas card list, it would be foolish to neglect the legacy & impact they have had on pro wrestling. Their place in history is secure. And something tells me if these two had ever crossed paths during their primes, the *real* battle would have taken place in the locker room or backstage area – with two tightly-wound, combustible personalities just waiting to explode like hand-grenades. When a rabid bulldog takes on a Rottweiler, watch out! In the Mash-Up Arena, these two X-Division legends still pack plenty of bite!
This is MSD signing off from another enriching edition of Mash-Up Wrestling, and reminding you it’s not about the size of the dog in the fight, – it’s about the size of the fight in the dog. Goodnight till next week!
Mash-Up Wrestling by MadStepDad
Match description by: MadStepDad